Tuesday 26 August 2014

Solo rider #3 - the conclusive blog

The WiFi here in Tunisia has been ups and downs so, I have unfortunately been unable to update my blog about my experiences within this wonderful country. Here, I say wonderful as in literally full of wonders. Many times I found myself decoding puzzles of the country I did not understand, and enjoying the solutions and answers I was educated with. 
But lets start where I left off... Day 2.


The Amphitheatre of Thysdrus
Known to be the second largest Amphitheatre in the world, The Amphitheatre of Thysdrus, located in the town of El Drem, was breathtaking. A stunning piece of ruined architecture that towered above the poverty ridden town below. Famous not only for its history, but more modernly recognised as the template for The Gladiator's setting, Thysdrus was built in the 3rd century AD.

Whilst exploring the Amphitheatre I visited the underground dungeons where they kept animals, namely lions and such alike, before the Gladiator games began and both Gladiator and lion met their fate. Along the walls you can see evidence of their discomfort in the form of scars and markings. Who can blame them? After being captured and then transported to a tiny cell where they remain until they are called to battle and killed, just for the entertainment of locals.



I also climbed to the highest point of the tallest section of the ruined building and was able to look out for miles across the landscape of Tunisia. One side presented a long strip of road lined with flat buildings and a vast bell tower that stood proudly, looking down on all of its surroundings. The other side treated the eye to an insight into the town of El Djem, populated by around 18,000. Cars sped along narrow roads and dodged the inhabitants as they seemingly crawled like ants along the dry roads under 37°C heat. On this side stood a small bell tower, in comparison to the bell tower adjacent to it.
The delicate building that divided these two sides stood gracefully, regardless of the amount which had crumbled away from its foundations over time. The walls hosted a fabulous gold colour which created an ancient, yet beautiful, feel to the historic site. The remaining structure, resonating a half finished puzzle, was fascinating to the eye and allowed for a 'travel back in time', cultural experience.

During my time in Tunisia there were days where, inevitably, I felt lonely. Day three was one of those days. A Saturday, a day I would normally spend in the pleasant company of friends. This was when the worst of my loneliness happened. I had spotted a few couples that day and the pang of envy shot through me so hard, my heart physically ached for my recent lost love. 

A similar feeling occurred as I witnessed friends grouped together, laughing and sharing happy memories and anecdotes. It took a lot of strength to remind myself that I had that aspect (friendship) of my life too and it was my decision to leave that behind whilst I journeyed to Tunisia alone. 
The truth is the experience I have had has changed me and created a stronger and happier spirit within me. One which I will always be thankful to have inside my body, guiding me through the ups and downs of life. I don't regret a single part of my time away, even the lowest moments, because I know I had to feel that emotion, understand that pain, to achieve the status I have become : stronger, happier and ready for the next chapter of my life to begin.


Day 5 - The Medina Ramble 
Another noteworthy time during my stay is when I took on the haggling experience in Tunisia's oldest city, The Medina. Whilst telling you I haggled prices of handbags and pashminas is all good and fun, what I really want to report is the new knowledge I achieved that day. 

Since arriving in Tunisia it has been evident that doors are an important aspect to their culture. Tunisians decorate their doors using mainly studs and coloured paints, and this had me wondering the reason behind it. I learnt that day it marked the status of the family living behind those doors. It is a way of telling people how wealthy (or not) you are. The more studs presented on the door, the richer a family are said to be. (I know, WOW!) 
 

Whilst visiting Tunisia's smallest city we came across a café which had a rooftop view which enabled me to take this photo...

I find it striking and aesthetically appealing. The levels and the bland colours gives the picture a sort of educational value about Tunisian culture. I could stare for hours, hypnotised, just making up lives for my creation of people who live beyond the walls of each settlement in the picture. Bare in mind this photo is taken whilst on a roof top that resides above a busy and bustling market. It makes for an interesting shot. The houses in this picture come to life in my eyes.

2 days remain and I want to do something I have never even had the slightest interest in doing before. Henna. 
When speaking to a new acquaintance of mine in Tunisia, Wasim, a henna tattooist, he illustrated my name in Arabic writing. I enjoyed the patterns of the drawing so much it made me wonder about whether or not to put some Arabic on my body in the form of henna. I visited his stall and had him write for me a few words that came to mind. But it was the second word I requested that stuck. 
For years I have disliked tattoos, I think an opinion I have inherited from my dear mother! However, when asked "if you absolutely had to have a tattoo, what would you have?" I always said I would have an olive to represent my late Nanny, Olive. She was my favourite person in the whole world. We wrote to one another very often, and religiously whilst I was away at university studying. She was an inspiration, the head of the family. Her comfort was so valuable to me. I loved her with all of my heart, as we used to say in our letters "to pieces". After telling this story to Wasim and debating having an olive drawn upon my skin in this semi-permanent ink, it was suggested I, instead, have her name in Arabic illustrated along my foot. After seeing my Nanny's name formed in Arabic letters I loved the idea and instantly agreed.



Once this henna was sitting comfortably upon my foot I was flicking through some other designs and I came across an illustration that literally showed me the reason for my independent adventure. The picture was of an ECG scan, linked between two words which created an uprising of butterflies in my stomach, 'Just Live'. This was an absolute moment of realisation that since my heart break I have forgotten to live my life. It sounds silly to say because as long as you're breathing, you're living, right? But that isn't what life is about. "Life is a gift, not a given right." I seemed to have lost sight of this fact during my months of sleepless nights and sorrowful days. I couldn't see past my nose for the ache that just seemed to grow inside me, swallowing me whole and creating a vibe of negative energy flow from me. Surround me. Squeeze me into this tight space in my broken heart and repeatedly remind me of the pain I was experiencing. Asking me all the questions that begin with why? 

It is only now I am starting to truly appreciate again that I have been given this life and am still living. My future self is urging me to keep going because I believe she knows that things are going to get better for me. She is encouraging me forward until I meet her in a much happier place in my life. I don't know when I will arrive in that place, but I know that thanks to that simple sketch I am excited to be there, and ready to take on all the obstacles to get there.


As I said, this break away has left me feeling much more positive and strong as a person. When I left I was heart broken, apprehensive, scared even of the thought of being alone, lonely and all by myself. Even dreading the nights I'd spend alone, looking up at my ceiling all night just going over every detail about my failed relationship to try and find some sort of resolution that would solve my heart ache and struggle. And also help me understand why it happened in the first place. After just 7 days I am feeling replenished, stocked up with strength, happiness and zen. Imagine what I could become in a month, a year?! (If only work would allow such luxurious amounts of time off!!) There are still parts of me that hurt and FEEL broken, of course, but I have learnt that time heals and to not waste that time feeling negative. JUST LIVE. 

Having successfully passed the challenge of experiencing a week in a foreign country by myself I feel like I am ready to enjoy my own company in many other countries and learn more about their cultures and myself along the way. I am also no longer afraid of going to bed alone. I believe I have at least learnt how to do that without feeling so lonely and wanting to cry until my eyes are swollen enough they feel tired enough to close. These last 7 days have been enjoyable, essential, educational, inspirational and possibly some of the best in my life, so far.

To all you solo travellers who embark on year long adventures I salute you. You are probably reading this thinking 'bloody hell love you've only done a week!' but if you knew me you'd know that a week alone for me is very out of character, a rare experience, in fact, one that has never happened until now. You are clearly people who were born with a strong independence and passion to live your life away with the capability of doing it alone. I am learning and one day hope to be joining you on one of your journeys and letting our paths cross.

I am going to sign off now because this has turned into a very wordy blog, focusing more on the emotive side of my trip than anything else. Thank you for reading, I'll write again soon. 


No comments:

Post a Comment