Showing posts with label apprehensive. Show all posts
Showing posts with label apprehensive. Show all posts

Sunday, 22 February 2015

My Current State of Mind

A blog aiming to just summarise briefly my current thoughts on all the changes going on in my life, leading up to, hopefully, my fresh start at this life I lead and love.

I didn't think in a million years I would ever move away from my home here. I love Bicester, and I am such a home comforts girl that I never dreamed of moving 4 hours down the road! Not a chance. But here I am, finding amazing, heart warming, one in a billion kind of people, and moving to Cornwall. It is unbelievable what life can throw at you - good and bad - but I am so grateful for the journey and experiences I have had so far. I cannot wait to see where life takes me when I get down there. I just know in my heart it is the best move, the greatest decision and the wisest choice for me at this point in my life. A fresh start.

Everyone I know down there, who looks forward to me joining them, makes me really count my blessings. These people who make my heart burn with a bright desire to just be there already. My tummy feels like your tongue would straight after sipping a boiling hot drink. It burns with a passion for Cornwall and my new life there, that I am so excited to just get started. I need to be careful though as it is making me drift through what I have here and I don't want to regret not making the most of my last few months in Bicester. Already I am being pushed out by some people who I have loved for years, maybe because they feel less willing to put effort in as they know I am leaving? I don't know their reasoning but it makes me truly sad to know people are like that, but at the same time, it is really proving who my friends are. The process of moving shouldn't affect these things in a person's life, however one cannot forcefully change another's opinion or decision and so if that is what they deem right to do, so be it. I hope they are happy, as I know I will be in the long run.

Here I am though, sat like a sitting duck just waiting for my life to really start, because I know the date 'May 26th 2015' is going to be the most significant in all my life yet. That is when I can truly become my own person. I absolutely cannot wait. Until then I will continue to miss Cornwall and my Cornish family and friends. They are the colour in my life down there. Everything else if still very much in a grey area, but they are shining at me like a rainbow. How lucky I am to have you all. To have my Auntie Trish, my cousins and second cousins! To have Jack, Connor, Shannon - my new soul mates who I love tons and tons! But also, back home to have my Mother who has supported me through excitement and a lot of over analysing of paperwork! I will miss her everyday. She will always hold a piece of my heart which will stay here in Bicester. My brother, Adam, who has shown me he can be the rock I have always seen in him, the epitome of who a brother should be. Caring, kind, loving, thoughtful and so supportive in ways I didn't think he could be. My Bicester friends who have chosen to stick by me through this life changing decision and support me with encouragement and comfort. Colleagues at work who have offered their heart warming statements of kindness and expressed their sadness in my choice to leave. OYAP Trust has been a job which has bought me into myself and I will always be inspired by my director Helen Le Brocq, for her fantastic experiences and outlook on life and my manager Caroline Tress, for her kind, supportive and caring nature. Thank you each - you have all aided in my happiness and encouraged me to make this move with a positive attitude and a huge grin on my face.



I am lucky, I feel blessed and I was compelled to blog about this today.

Thursday, 14 August 2014

Solo rider

Holiday season is upon us and it was my decision to take one on my own this year. It's a challenge, it's a big risk and I'm now feeling very apprehensive as I sit at the gate... 

After a shaky start to my holiday I am now fuelled with food and waiting at gate 35 in Gatwick's South terminal. My temperature is pretty high, but I am going to put that down to the cocktails which accompanied my Franky and Bennys dinner. I am surrounded by couples and families, but reminding myself it was my choice to come alone.

I have decided it a good idea to venture into the unknown, independently, to track down my happiness and learn a life lesson of coping and being content in my own company. My life has come to a point where I feel this necessary and so I decided it my next challenge to visit a strange country and do just that. Feels a bit crazy now, but I am still proud of myself for giving it a go. Worst case scenario I lock myself in my hotel room and read for a week! Could be worse right?

So, I will of course update as the week goes on - assuming Tunisia isn't so under-developed that WiFi hasn't reached their intelligence yet! Just know that I am going knowing two very important phrases I think will come in handy : "no" and "keep away"... !

Have you ever travelled alone? If so tips are welcomed with open arms...