My Current State of Mind

A blog aiming to just summarise briefly my current thoughts on all the changes going on in my life, leading up to, hopefully, my fresh start at this life I lead and love.

I didn't think in a million years I would ever move away from my home here. I love Bicester, and I am such a home comforts girl that I never dreamed of moving 4 hours down the road! Not a chance. But here I am, finding amazing, heart warming, one in a billion kind of people, and moving to Cornwall. It is unbelievable what life can throw at you - good and bad - but I am so grateful for the journey and experiences I have had so far. I cannot wait to see where life takes me when I get down there. I just know in my heart it is the best move, the greatest decision and the wisest choice for me at this point in my life. A fresh start.

Everyone I know down there, who looks forward to me joining them, makes me really count my blessings. These people who make my heart burn with a bright desire to just be there already. My tummy feels like your tongue would straight after sipping a boiling hot drink. It burns with a passion for Cornwall and my new life there, that I am so excited to just get started. I need to be careful though as it is making me drift through what I have here and I don't want to regret not making the most of my last few months in Bicester. Already I am being pushed out by some people who I have loved for years, maybe because they feel less willing to put effort in as they know I am leaving? I don't know their reasoning but it makes me truly sad to know people are like that, but at the same time, it is really proving who my friends are. The process of moving shouldn't affect these things in a person's life, however one cannot forcefully change another's opinion or decision and so if that is what they deem right to do, so be it. I hope they are happy, as I know I will be in the long run.

Here I am though, sat like a sitting duck just waiting for my life to really start, because I know the date 'May 26th 2015' is going to be the most significant in all my life yet. That is when I can truly become my own person. I absolutely cannot wait. Until then I will continue to miss Cornwall and my Cornish family and friends. They are the colour in my life down there. Everything else if still very much in a grey area, but they are shining at me like a rainbow. How lucky I am to have you all. To have my Auntie Trish, my cousins and second cousins! To have Jack, Connor, Shannon - my new soul mates who I love tons and tons! But also, back home to have my Mother who has supported me through excitement and a lot of over analysing of paperwork! I will miss her everyday. She will always hold a piece of my heart which will stay here in Bicester. My brother, Adam, who has shown me he can be the rock I have always seen in him, the epitome of who a brother should be. Caring, kind, loving, thoughtful and so supportive in ways I didn't think he could be. My Bicester friends who have chosen to stick by me through this life changing decision and support me with encouragement and comfort. Colleagues at work who have offered their heart warming statements of kindness and expressed their sadness in my choice to leave. OYAP Trust has been a job which has bought me into myself and I will always be inspired by my director Helen Le Brocq, for her fantastic experiences and outlook on life and my manager Caroline Tress, for her kind, supportive and caring nature. Thank you each - you have all aided in my happiness and encouraged me to make this move with a positive attitude and a huge grin on my face.

I am lucky, I feel blessed and I was compelled to blog about this today.

Another Blog of Birthday Gratitude

Wow, once again I have been spoiled for the second evening this week in celebration of my 25th Birthday. Not only did my friends make my actual birthday special, but they chose to continue their generousity and make my weekend full of memorable, birthday related, activities. 

The best way to tell you is to do it from my point of view, then you will understand the surprise and how amazing it was... 

I was picked up Saturday night at 8pm. I was told to wear jeans and a top but of course I rebelled and fashioned a tunic with some leggings. I gave myself a 'golden glow' and was feeling confident that I looked 'alright'! 

My 'Golden Glow'

As soon as I got in the car a tie was produced and I was instructed to blindfold myself. After a small fuss from me, worrying about my make-up, I was obedient and placed the tie over my eyes. I now had to use my picture memory to sense where I was. My friend was clever however and drove round roundabouts several times before turning off to confuse me. After about ten minutes we arrived at our destination and, still blindfolded, I was escorted out of the car and felt the floor turn to gravel/stones underneath my feet. Any ideas where I am?? 

The ground evened out after a few steps, and then I tripped up a step as my friend failed to warn me of it - we laughed as well! Suddenly, my nostrils filled with the smell of oil, like the oil you get in those wind resistant, garden candles. I was positioned and then told to remove my blindfold. 

"SURPRISE" All my amazing friends were in front of me, under a gazebo, sat on hay-bales in my friends garden. I was a tad confused but turned around and behind me I saw a screen, formed from two wooden planks and a bed sheet. Returning my focus to the gazebo I noticed a projector set up as my friends approached me for cuddles. It was an outdoor cinema they had created to celebrate my 25th birthday. I was overwhelmed, still am at how adorable the idea was. 

Everyone and me on the hay-bales under the gazebo

The gazebo was decorated with buntings which each guest had wrote nice messages upon - these are now hung up in my room. There was food and a BBQ on the go. Alcohol was served in my favourite format - cocktails! The night was amazing. Seeing all my friends under one gazebo, watching cringing clips of me performing during a summer project, to creasing with laughter over Anchorman 2. Conversation flowed until 4:30am, when we decided to call it a night. 

My beautiful messages, now hung up in my room

So, this blog, similarly to my last, is dedicated to all my friends who have made this birthday really special for me. But this time it comes with extra special thanks to Amyy Newbold, Alice Taylor, Sweeney for being the hosts of this event and Tyler Cartwright for organising the whole thing. I am truly bless to have you, plus all the guests, in my life. I cannot wait to return the favour for all of your birthdays :) 

Me and Tyler - The Organiser

Me and the Hosts - Amyy with the great face!

Fellow bloggers; What is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you for your birthday? 

Please leave any comments below :)  

Birthday Blessings

Yesterday I turned 25 years old. My birthday was celebrated in style as I was surrounded by my friends and family - all the people who mean the world to me. And if that wasn't enough, they spoiled me even more by showering me with presents and surprises. I am so grateful I feel it necessary to write a blog and discuss my birthday blessings... 

Me celebrating my birthday in style with a 'Blue Heaven' cocktail. Yummy!

For me, Birthdays are important, they mean something. They have always been something I will go out of my way for to celebrate. I love to find something that I know my loved ones will enjoy and love to open on their birthdays. Yesterday, that same passion was shared and my family and friends made it their mission to spoil me and spoil me they did. 

My amazing gifts from all my family and friends.

After a tough start to the year I have never needed such an amazing pick me up. I have felt lost since January, not knowing how to trust people anymore, struggling to know who would really be there for me when the going gets tough or when it really mattered. I now have a much better idea thanks to the amazing gestures of celebration and love I received yesterday. There is a quote I love that really does sum up a fair few of my friendships:

"Good friends are like stars, you don't always see them, but you know they are there". 

I, like everyone, have friends who I see on the odd occasion, but when I do see them, everything is amazing. Nothing has changed. Neither one of us is awkward or desperate for an explanation as to why there has been such a gap between our last meeting. We are just happy to be in one another's company and that is exactly as it should be. Some friends you will see everyday and you're no closer to them as you are the friend you see once a month, or every few months. My eyes were truly opened to this yesterday as I celebrated with all styles of friends; lifelong friends, new friends, old friends, friends I see all the time and friends I see less occasionally... They all came together to celebrate my birthday and for this I am truly lucky. 

A beautiful collage, made by Amyy Newbold, of many of my friends and family.

Just to add to the beautiful memory that was created last night, I had a final surprise in store at the end of the night. Three cakes were bought out to me from the kitchen as everyone sang 'happy birthday!' Three! That tells me that at least three people had separately visited the restaurant before last night to give them an extra special gift to present to me. The cakes were incredible and each one had a significant meaning behind it! (If you can't tell from the pictures below I am in love with pigs!) 

My fantastic cakes that bought me to tears. The First handmade by Alice Brown, the second provided by Alice Taylor and Amyy Newbold and the third bought by my Mum.

Finally then, I want to thank every person who has been involved in my birthday this year, whether you were there last night celebrating with me in person, or you drop a quick text to wish me a good day, thank you. I am so grateful and feel overwhelmed with the love I have received. Thank you .x.x.

Me and Mum before the celebrations began.

Halloween

Hello,

I hope all is well with you and you are gearing up for a great Halloween this year. 

I just wanted to share some of my fantastic photos from my friends Halloween party this weekend. We had such a smashing time and there were some really FAB costumes. See for yourself...

This is me in my Minnie Mouse outfit - not particularly scary but was a great costume. 

Me and my Boyfriend, Joe. He didn't dress up but we do pull some odd faces together <3 

Me and my BESTIE Amyy :) Cavegirl and Minnie have fun times together - who'd have thought it!? 

Host #1 going all out for Halloween as 'Carrie' 

A great gang of friends going out in style :) 

Some of the fabulous ladies at party #2

Me trying out the cavegirl's club :) 

Host #2 from Game of Thrones :P 

Some more amazing people :) 

Me and my one in a million brother :) 

I hope you've enjoyed my little album of Halloween piccys. I had such an amazing night <3 

What are you doing for Halloween...?