Be BOLD, Be Brave, Be YOU

This is a blog that aims to do nothing but tell you exactly how I feel at this moment in time…

Never have I ever been so disappointed and full to the brim with inexplicable feelings towards the Education system, the Government and the challenges most of us face when it comes to both.

Having spent nineteen years in education, training to become what I thought would be an employable individual seeking a role within the arts, I still cannot succeed in a role which is undoubtedly suited to my qualifications, experience and skill. During all my years in education I have worked hard in many different sectors in the labour market. From stacking shelves, customer service and sales to book editing, teaching and project coordination. I have a positive approach to everything I do, I remain calm under pressure and offer excellent communication skills. I can plan to cater for any needs. I can teach. I can be an inspiration and I have the capacity to learn fast and well. Yet here I am, twenty six years of age and still desperately seeking my dream job.

Hours of my time has been spent writing the perfect applications to suit roles which I would love to achieve; programme managers for arts charities, teaching roles in a performing arts environment and learning officers or management within growing art establishments. More time has then been spent, after being offered interviews, to prepare project plans, budget materials and perfect answers to their questions, which aim to prove me suitable for their role. But still I am unemployed with a list of sodden excuses as to why I am not good enough.

I am a person who lives for laughter and love. I thrive on positive thinking. I put in 110% effort in to everything that I do. My qualifications range from diplomas to post graduate degrees. I volunteer, I am caring, I am helpful and creative. I work both collaboratively and independently. I am organised, good at prioritising workloads and enjoy pressure and being busy. I have the biggest passion for achieving and doing everything I can to succeed. I dream of becoming an asset to an organisation whose aim is to inspire, particularly young people, through art forms and support these people in achieving things they didn’t believe possible. I want to give young people the best possible chance to succeed in life, because as we all know, it is a tough life that we live.

Art is frowned upon. “it’s a drop out course” “it gets you nowhere” “You will fail” BULLSHIT!
Art is so vast and so incredibly inspiring to not just young people, but all of us. Open your eyes and look around at all the beauty in this world; architecture, gardens, paintings, statues, literature, music. None of which would have been possible without an artistic, imaginative, creative mind. It can support people through difficult times. It can make people happy. It can provoke emotion we didn’t even know we could feel. Yet here we are telling our future that art is unnecessary. Wake up!

My biggest ambition is to make a difference in people’s lives using art as a catalyst. Whether that be as a teacher, a project coordinator or running an art organisation. I have never felt so passionate about something in my whole life and I am being shot down for not having enough experience or the correct skillset. Sue me for not having all these qualities written down on a piece of paper and signed off by some dude who leans back in his spinning chair all day. Give me a chance to PROVE it to you.

Fair play to all those people who attended the same interviews I did and achieved the role. You must have bought more to the table and for that, I congratulate you. Good for you for keeping the spirit of the arts alive and being able to expose all your abilities, passions and experience to the employer. I tried my best. I tried my absolute hardest to achieve. I worked myself to the bone to be the best I can be. I wish it was enough. I wish I could tell you that I have acquired the job that lets me practice all my talents, my qualities my passions and my skillset. I want to make you proud of me. Each and every single one of you. I want my Mum to be able to tell her friends that I am happy as Larry working in the industry I long to thrive in. I want my brother to feel inspired by his baby sister. I want my friends to hear all the wonderful stories I have to share about my working environment. I’d love to report back to my teachers, tutors and mentors that I am ‘living the dream’.

There are so many emotions running through me at the moment. My heart is literally pumping out a different one with each beat. Failure, disappointment, strength, anger, loss, bravery, positivity, upset, passion, determination, irritancy, rejection, pity… the list goes on and on. It is so difficult to sit here and write this, but in the same way I feel more and more relieved after each word.

What am I doing so wrong? What makes me so unemployable in the field of work that I so badly aspire to be a part of? It is hard times. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection is my biggest fear and here I am, dwelling in its hand. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going is all that echoes around my head.

To all of you who are working just as hard as I am to achieve, to succeed, to be everything you wished to be when you were young… It is a tough fight and dreams don’t work unless you do, so keep going. At least, that is what I keep telling myself. A dear friend of mine sent me a card once, which displayed the words “Be Bold, Be Brave, Be You”. I try to live by this every single day – through all the best times and all the bad times. Because that is all I have to give this world; someone bold, someone brave, me.

 

 

If you have any questions or comments please do let me know: amieblinks@gmail.com

Everything's Changing

Since my last blog which expressed my joyous feelings about moving to Cornwall I am devastated to announce that this journey will no longer be happening. Sadly, the sale on my house down there fell through, which means I am staying put in my hometown of Bicester. Whilst this is not what I wanted, I am happy to be staying in Bicester for a while as it means I can continue to have close friendships with people here. Unfortunately, I have sacrificed my job with OYAP Trust as they hired my replacement, shortly after my advisory that I would be moving away. There is now no funding for me to stay on. Another truly saddening event. 

OYAP has been my place of work for 8 months and with each day I have grown to love the work they do as a charity and I do for them more and more. It has been a dream job working with creative people, being able to use the creative side of my brain to develop and coordinate exciting activities for young people to get involved in. Even the meetings were inspiring and brilliant to be a part of and left me feeling motivated and full of ideas for not just the activities I coordinate, but also crafts, teaching tips and my career. Having the opportunity to work with a variety of wonderful people, each skilled in many different art forms, has been amazing. I am constantly inspired in their presence and wanting to do more for OYAP and their participants day after day. My favourite moments with OYAP include putting together a youth action team in Banbury and watching the young people succeed in planning and coordinating their own creative acts of kindness for their community. A significant project which will stay with me is when the young people designed and created cushions for elderly people and we all delivered the cushions into a care home. This particular project was featured in the Banbury Cake Newspaper. 

Another favourite moment was watching the success of the first project I coordinated in its entirety - UnFrozen. A theatre and set design project based on Disney's popular Frozen, which ran over October half term 2014. It was a huge sell out and the performance created in just 2 days was enough to bring the proud parents to tears! It was a wonderful celebration of theatre, singing, dancing and indeed the Frozen soundtrack. 

Finally, working with Heyford Park Free School has to be up their with the top favourites. Another project completely coordinated by me! After getting in touch with the school I successfully recruited artists to join me each week in providing lunchtime art activities for the students. These ranged from puppetry to animation, photography to sculpting! We have successfully seen the students through their Arts Awards too, which has been a very rewarding process for both them and OYAP. I will miss going into the school each week and working with such talented children.